Upper Room Media Blogs

Did I Make The Right Choice?

by Sandra
Original post by Becoming Fully Alive blog site

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantine and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”― Sylvia Plath

Last September I had a pretty big decision to make about where I was going to accept a job. I called up the people who knew me best to get their insight, asked my father of confession for his wisdom and spoke to people working in the same field for their perspective.

Whether it’s deciding over relationships, colleges, schools or jobs, sometimes we might find ourselves with two seemingly great choices, and so we find ourselves in a dilemma. Each choice will come at a cost; each choice will have positives and negatives, and ultimately no choice will be perfect.

I’ve never been a fan of pros and cons lists – I find that life can’t be categorised that easily. However, a friend gave me advice that helped. I was told to assign a value to each point under my two options. When I started writing the values I held, I started to see that while both choices were in line with the vision I had for my life, there were some values that were more significant than others. And while one option had way more values than the other, the other which only had a couple were much more fundamental to me.

A few of the things I’ve learned this season…

“We don’t know what to do but our eyes are on you” (2 Chronicles 20:12). In the midst of his crisis, King Jehoshaphat acted by praising God. We also in the midst of our confusion and turmoil over decisions, need to learn the art laying our anxieties and restless thoughts down, being still and opening our heart in worship. The voice of the Holy Spirit can be so gentle that it’s only when we spend time in his presence that we can discern His Voice from all the noise.

Pray and learn from whatever happens on the other side. No matter what you choose, there will be struggle, and there will be trials for we know “through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22). Sometimes those are a result of our choices, but in the end, they will be used by God to sanctify us and purify us. Living with our eyes on eternity is important in those seasons to understand that nothing is outside of His never-ending and unfailing love and mercy. There is no such thing as Plan B or Z with Christ. He will use all for our deification; it might take us longer on certain paths but even then, all we need to do is repent, and we are restored.

There’s a principle in radiology that says even if you find the fracture on an x-ray you should keep looking for other signs because you don’t want to be blindsided. Bring your decision before the Lord in prayer and meditation but challenge yourself to be curious and look deeper into your intentions, motivations and reasons for each choice. Give yourself time, patience and space and trust that the Holy Spirit will examine you, try you and reveal what is in depths of your heart.

Sometimes God’s will is clear and other times, most times, God allows us the freedom to choose and become whoever we want, though He may certainly have a direction for you. Submission is hard as we deny our self that we may be dedicated to Another. The hardest part in all of this is asking God “Who do you want me to be?” I think of Mary, called to be Mother of God; Abraham called to be Father of Nations and the disciples called to be Fishers of Men. God revealed to them who they were in His eyes and with that promise He gave them the strength and grace to become. Sometimes we don’t know how to choose because we don’t know who God is asking us to be. That may not be a question that gets answered overnight, it needs silence and self-awareness and time alone with Him. Sometimes it’s a process – it takes making one choice faithfully, and waiting faithfully and then making another and waiting to see what is revealed. But it’s a question we all desperately need the answer to – more than what we do God wants us to know who we are. It is only in knowing that, can we then make the decisions about what we do, how we spend our time, money and emotions. Because where we invest our heart, there we invest our life.

What if there is no such thing as the perfect choice? Because choosing means we can’t have everything. Because we don’t know how things will change and how those things that change will change us. Because we don’t know who we will be or what we will need in the future? Because we can sit here and play “what if the the grass is greener over there?” all day and it won’t bring us any closer to an answer – only further from being satisfied. And what if none of that matters because the point is to grow and seek His kingdom regardless of our choices?

So trust yourself. Most of our choices are not made in isolation. Where we are now and the choices we are making today is a culmination of all the choices and experiences in the past that have led up to this point. Trust that the God who has knit you from birth, has been guiding you and shaping you like clay can lead you today in this choice. Sometimes it’s fear of not having the perfect picture of our future figured out that holds us back.

A year later I’m fighting to find peace in the unknown road I’m on, but I want to continue to fight and continue to hope in Him because when I put the pieces in front of me, they don’t fit. Before me lays the back of a colourful tapestry and I have little idea what the canvas is going to look like. There are some dark threads from the past and some strange shapes from the present. But if I let Him just take all the colours, threads and pieces, I don’t have to sit and stare at them. The root of every untrusting feeling is the fear that He is not in fact good and that His love will end, especially when I feel I have no clue or answers about what to do. But if I forfeit my desire to know every outcome, if I forfeit the need to have physical evidence or feeling as evidence, then I will trust in His Word that He is with me, and that He is weaving stars and gold from what looks like odd patterns to me. And doesn’t that make all the difference?

C.S. Lewis — ‘I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?’

One choice we can always make, even in the midst of painful uncertainty, the simplest place to start is with this: “Love the Lord your God … and love your neighbour as yourself. No other commandment is greater…” You will always be where you need to be as long as Love is your aim.

Original blog found at – http://becomingfullyalive.com/did-i-make-the-right-choice/

Whom the Lord Loves, He Chastens

Whom the Lord Loves, He Chastens

by Shery Abdelmalak

“For whom the LORD loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.” – Proverbs 3:12

In Proverbs, we have the image of a loving father and son relationship, the father corrects so that one day his son will be even better than him. But what does this mean to the rest of us, who am I to correct, and how do I receive correction?

When the people went to stone the sinner woman, Jesus stopped them saying, “He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone” (John 8:7). As Jesus said this, He was writing on the ground. While it is not mentioned what He was writing, the Church Fathers suggest that He was writing the sins of the people. By extension, if every time I condemn another person for their sin, God remembers my sin then any desire to “vent” or express any ill-feelings quickly disperses.

On the contrary, in Jeremiah, we read, “I shall forgive their error, and their sin I shall remember no more” (Jeremiah 31:34). How do we gain this forgiveness? By imitation of the One who taught us to love when He first loved us and died on the Cross for our sake (1 John 4:19). Love is what covers a multitude of sin (1 Peter 4:8). When we face sins committed against us, we can choose condemnation or we can choose love.

In condemnation, we do the same as those that stoned the sinner woman, and we know that in the remembrance of her sins, Christ remembered the sins of those that stoned her. To strive for justice and fairness also means being accountable for my own sins, and the price of sin is death (Romans 6:23).

More so, I need to consider my own dwelling place that I find refuge in at the end of each day. If I have hardened my heart all day, if I have spent my days defending my own honour and allowing no room for any kind of mistreatment, how can I soften my heart in prayer to the One that is Love?

If I learn to take the sins of others to the Cross, I soften my heart and prepare it as the dwelling place of the King. I can spend my days in prayer for those that have hurt me. I can see a glimpse of the love Christ has for me because I know that no matter what anyone does to me, I have done worse to my Beloved. I can be a part of God’s handiwork. Is that not exactly what God wanted for us? “As I have loved you, that you also love one another” (John 13:34).

When it comes to correction in love, it is only for the benefit of the other person. These are not irrational or emotion-filled words. When Nathan corrected David, it was the wake-up call that created the repentance of Psalm 51. He told him a story of a rich man that stole from a poor man all he had. He knew that this would arouse goodness within David for he knew David and he loved him (2 Sam 12:1-15). Correction cannot be separated from love, nor can it be effectively executed if ill-feelings are present.

When I look at how God deals with me, He doesn’t give me all the answers when I ask for them. When I am at the depths of despair, He shows me His love. He doesn’t tell me the mistakes I made that caused the turmoil I find myself in. So why do I attempt to correct His children? God has made me, fearfully and wonderfully, He has plans for me. Every sin, every weakness, every doubt in my mind, He is going to heal. We’re not meant to fake it, we’re meant to take it all to the throne of grace. St Peter says to take all your cares to Him, for He cares for you. Do I know Him enough to be giving myself life advice, let alone other people? Sometimes I can feel the love of God so strongly in my life, I feel safe, I feel secure, but even then, it is just a glimpse – a shadow – of His limitless love.

How can I make a judgement on another when my knowledge is limited? What I know about life is based on what God knows I can handle and what is relevant to me. He is giving the same grace to those around me. It’s not my job to teach them lessons He so carefully taught me. To be a friend of God is to support others along their journey. Recognise that I don’t have all the answers. I use what He has given me. I have strengths, but I don’t disregard my weaknesses. When someone comes to me in weakness, I don’t act high and mighty, I approach them with lowliness. I make sure that they don’t feel small when they’re in my presence. I don’t tell them my heroic stories. If I’m going to tell them anything, it is that what they’re feeling, I felt too. If they’re feeling weak, so am I, and I understand that it is in weakness my need for a Saviour becomes apparent.

Christ taught us to love beyond limit. He taught us that greater love has no limits than to lay down one’s life for his friends. He didn’t tell me to play Dr. Phil, He just told me to love, and love will cause the change. He didn’t tell me to lecture people into taking my superior life advice on board. Support your friends, pray for them, see a fault in them and pray all the more.

At a time when Noah was at his lowest, he was drunk and naked and his sons laughed at his shame, but he also had sons that covered his nakedness. Every time you see a fault in a person, you have the choice to cover them or to shame them. Be the one that covers their shame. It is a gift when God reveals the weaknesses of another to you, because it is in that moment that He is inviting you to share in the salvation of another. When we see the sins of others and pray for them, we partake in God’s ultimate plan for their life to grant them salvation.

I can’t forget how patiently God deals with me, He reveals glimpses of His love when I am down. When I have sinned and the repercussions are beyond me, He shields me from the damage my own sins have caused. The remembrance of my sins and the greatness of my God are what grant peace to the troubled heart.

Perpetual quietness of heart is to have no trouble. It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore; to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I blamed and despised, it is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace, as in a sea of calmness, when all around and about is seeming trouble.

– Andrew Murray

Perhaps it is perpetual quietness of heart that causes change in another, more than our words of correction ever could. More so, that same spirit of peace is the prerequisite for turning any condemnation into helpful correction as we strive toward the ultimate goal of eternity with the One who is Love.

Let Your Eyes be Filled with Light

Let Your Eyes be Filled with Light

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Daniel Fanous

Matthew 6:19-33

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” – Matthew 6:21. This is a vital reminder to lay treasures in heaven and not possession on earth.

Jesus goes on to say, “The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”

This is strange comparison made by our Lord. He first talks about treasures in Heaven and then diverts to the lamp of the body being the eye. They don’t seem to be related, but if you look closely, the relation becomes clear. Whatever your heart treasures, your eye will naturally be drawn to.

Why does He refer to the eye as the lamp of the body? The word lamp in Greek means source or window. The eye is the window of the body, it is the entry point for light to enter the body. But what is the light that comes to us?

St Cyril of Alexandria says, “Before the coming of our Saviour, the Father of darkness, Satan, made the world dark and blackened all things with an intellectual bloom. In this state of affairs, the Father gave us the Son, Jesus to be a lamp to the world to illuminate with divine light and to rescue us from satanic darkness.”

Furthermore, the gospel of John says, “And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it” (John 1:5). Christ is the source of light. Light is an energy and we know energy must always extend from an energy source. By extension, Christ is the lamp and our eyes will never see light unless they see Christ. Where your treasure is, your heart will be also for your eyes are ever upon the desires of your heart.

For the eyes to see and recognise Christ, they must be functional. If the eye is good then the entire body will be full of light. The actual translation for the word, ‘good’ is ‘seen.’ If the eye is seen then the entire body will be full of light. When the eye is fixated on the seen, life will have a single purpose with no confusion for seeing truth.

If the eye is bad then the whole body will be filled with darkness. The Greek translation for the word, ‘bad’ is, ‘disease.’ If the eye is disease then nothing you do will allow light to travel through. We must be conscientious in protecting our eyes from any sources of harm. Another requirement for eyes to function is the presence of light. Eyes cannot function without light, they can’t retain health unless there is a source of light. In babies for example, if they are starved of light, their eyes will not be able to develop into functioning eyes that bring images to the body. Receiving of light is what ensures eyes can grow and function appropriately.

When the eyes are starved of light, they adapt to the darkness. They begin to hallucinate and see things that aren’t there. First, they see moving patterns and then turn they see full blown images. For our eyes to be functional, they need the light of Christ. This is why Christ says, “But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”

St John Chrysostom says, “If we destroy our eyes which ought to give light to the rest of our bodies, by what means are we going to see clearly? For when the pilot is drowned, when the candle is put out, when the general is taken prisoner what sort of hope will remain for those that are under his command?”

But more than this – if our eyes are diseased and deprived of life, we are not only in darkness but we begin to hallucinate. Our sense of right and wrong becomes distorted and we do not know how to act. We become angry irrationally, we judge inaccurately, we imagine people have said things against us, we create false scenarios and negative perceptions of other people and then act upon these.

Amid all this turmoil, what we see most clearly is who we actually are. A painter will see the world in colour, a builder will see the world in measurements and a musician perceives the world in sounds. We see as we are. Somebody that is full of anger and hate can only see other angry and hateful people. Somebody that is insecure feels threatened by everyone around them.

If you have murky vision, everything looks dirty; nothing looks clean. But if you have clear vision everything looks beautiful. Father Bishoy of Alexandria was an example of someone so filled with light that he could only see good in other people. When someone would come to him and say that they spent all night thinking sinful thoughts, Father Bishoy would see this person’s capacity for contemplation. When someone confessed that they had spent all night parting, he saw the person’s capacity to pray all night. This is why Christ could only see good in the sinners that came to Him in repentance. Mary Magdalene came to Him as a prostitute, He saw the thief on the Cross but both gained the Kingdom.

May we open our eyes, purify our vision and see Christ as He is where His light not only purifies my eyes but will help them grow so that I can see everyone like Christ sees them. Let us understand the symptoms of disease. If I can only see evil, mistakes, darkness and malice in people around me then I know there is a problem with my eyes, and not those who I see. When I have conversations with my friends, what do I say about other people? Let us purify our eyes so that our interactions remain pure also. May we learn to see how Christ sees. May Christ be our eternal source of light.

Busyness: The Illness of Our Time

by Veronia
Original post by Becoming Fully Alive blogsite

I believe we all have terminal cancer. From the moment of our conception we go through this slow progression towards our own death. Regardless of the type of cancer we have and the speed at which it is growing death is a reality for all, whether we have a few months to live or many years.

In the current generation each of us is encountering and experiencing the disease of this age: busyness. It has become the norm; if one is not busy then something is wrong with them … they must be lazy or intellectually deficient.

We are constantly running around from one thing to the next and when we look back on our day or week it’s all a blur. We feel less and less satisfied and fulfilled.

Since having grown up most of my life in a slow-paced country and then moving to a much faster paced lifestyle, it has been and continues to be a huge struggle for me to adjust.

I have been reading a book this Lent that has really enlightened me about this struggle.

The book talks about despondency and our relationship to time. Despondency is given the definition of the failure to care about things that matter, for example our spiritual life and the care of our neighbor.

Despondency happens as a result of our busyness. We lose our desire to grow and be, our desire to dream and wonder, and our desire for deep intimacy. We as humans choose a busy life to escape the reality of our pain and suffering. Our minds as a result abandons the pain of caring. We lose the capacity to focus, to encounter and love which in turn provokes a toxic kind of emptiness – a vacuum that attracts all manner of distraction, restlessness, rumination, anxiety, fear and lethargy.

Despondency causes us to move from living to existing.

The root of despondency is the broken relationship we have with and our perception of time. We have confined our notions of time to fleeting moments throughout our life. We despise time as we always complain we don’t have enough of it as it is constantly ‘flying by.’

Through the Incarnation of Jesus Christ, Christ has sanctified time. Time is no longer a ticking bomb counting down to our final moment. Without Christ, time enslaves us whereas in Christ time is liberating and time, most importantly, is relational.

Yes we live in chronological time but through the incarnation, where the One who is out of time came in time, made time eternal. Despondency traps us in chronological time where there is only despair and it makes us constantly want to escape from the present moment. The mind prefers thinking about either the past or the future as they are both the constructs of the mind’s own doing and our mind can control them. The present moment is outside of the mind’s control and therefore is completely ignored.

We desire to be ‘anywhere but here; any moment but now.’ We have become dissatisfied with our present. In that way time has become our enemy, a prison in which we find ourselves locked up in leading to our own self-destruction.

Man now has the ability to live in the present moment, where Christ is. Christ is in the now. Eternity is now.

Only in the present moment can I meet with Christ and only the in the present moment can I dine with my fellow brethren. Christ is not in my past ruminations and He is certainly not in my future fantasies. We have given our minds so much control that we can no longer tolerate being present. Our minds have become the author of our stories of despair and as a result our negative fantasies become more attractive to us.

We become so focused on getting to the next big thing… the next holiday, the next event, next weekend, our next meal. We no longer know or want to be present and focused with the task at hand, we no long focus on the person in front of us or enjoy the magnificent experience before us.

The here and now is not about the duration of time but about my state of being. The present moment is not measured by clocks or determined by the mind but it is experienced by the heart. In the present moment we are transformed, we become more watchful, attentive and sober.

We are able to experience.

We are able to enjoy every moment that has been presented to us, no matter where we are or who we are with. Because every time we are present we meet with Christ regardless.

One of the fruits of despondency is lukewarm prayers because we lack the ability to be present. We then question why prayer seems like I am talking to a brick wall and why I haven’t experienced the joy and transformative life of prayer.

Unfortunately our society is so good at deceptively allowing despondency to creep into our lives with the bombardment of technology and work.

Fortunately for those in Christ and in the Church, the Church continually calls us all who are wandering back into Life, back into the present moment. One beautiful way She has done this is through the Divine Liturgy. In Liturgy we experience, if we are present, the eternal now. Christ meets us where we are as heaven and earth are united.

Liturgy has no longer become the centre of our worship but the centre of our inconvenience as we want to get Liturgy ‘out of the way,’ so we can socialise or get to Sunday school etc. We gaze up during Liturgy thinking about what we will eat after or where we will go.

Liturgy is the pinnacle of the present moment but we despise it, as we cannot stand the present moment.

Thank God for this season of Lent where the Church gives us things to practice living in the present moment. It’s a time to slow down, to attend liturgies, and to wait on God in prayer.

To paraphrase Kallistos Ware, the most important time you are in is now, the most important place you are is the one you are in now and the most important person there is, is the one you are with now.

Let’s be in the now to meet Christ and to meet each other where healing and transformation may abound for all.

I challenge you today to practice being present in the remaining time of Lent and hopefully beyond.

Quiet down your mind about thinking about tomorrow while you are present with the one sitting in front of you today.

Be present in whichever task you are doing now and if you have the urge to escape by pick up your phone for example, then wait a few minutes, don’t act on impulse and wait for the urge to pass.

Let’s switch off our fantasies and ruminations and instead switch on our hearts and be attentive to the here and now.

The present is not an emptiness but a Fullness.

Original blog found at – http://becomingfullyalive.com/busyness-the-illness-of-our-time/

Finding One’s Calling In Life

by John
Original post by Becoming Fully Alive blog site

I wanted to share this simple but powerful pamphlet I stumbled upon on my visit to St Vladimir’s Seminar by the late Fr Thomas Hopko. It is a refreshing take on answering the question “what’s my calling in life?” Although many of these are highlighted in the pamphlet itself, I wanted to share some of my favourite:

“God knows every person from before the foundation of the world and provides their unique life and the specific conditions of their earthly way that are literally the best possible conditions for them.”

This is a convicting statement as Fr. Hopko explains that it is pride that leads us to say things like, if only I would have been born in this time period, or into a wealthy family, or this or that way… We think we know better than God what is best for us! It is an awe-inspiring and humbling thought to know that God has placed us exactly where and when we need to be, and given us everything we need.

Another quote that touched me was:

“…’form of life’ is not necessarily a job or profession. For example, some people may be called to suffer on this earth and to bear the results of fallen humanity in the most violent manner—to be victimised by disease, affliction, or both physical and mental disability; to be the objects of other people’s cares or disdain.”

Our vocation isn’t necessarily tied to what we do in this world, but rather who we are becoming. Being a doctor, lawyer, or engineer should not be an identity but rather a means to an end. Furthermore, we are instructed to bear illnesses that come to us patiently knowing that it is God who has allowed them and is using this vocation of suffering as a means for salvation.

This pamphlet also touches on the ‘ways of salvation’ that the Lord has given us:

“Some will sanctify their lives being married; others will be single. Some will do it in clerical orders; others as lay people. Some will be monastic; most will live in the everyday secular world.”

But it also affirms the vocation we share in common:

“In a certain sense, every person has the same vocation, which is to be a saint… We can cooperate with God. We can share His holiness. We can become, as the saints themselves teach us, all that God Himself is by His gracious action in our lives”

These last two quotes really sum up the entire matter for me:

“In the eyes of God none is better than the other. None is higher or more praiseworthy. Each must find his or her own way and glorify God through it. Ultimately this is all that matters”

“Being faithful were we are is the basic sign that we will God’s will for our lives”

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! (download by clicking this link)

Original blog found at – http://becomingfullyalive.com/finding-ones-calling-in-life/

The Perfect Fast for Lent

The Perfect Fast for Lent

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Sam Fanous

Matthew 6:1-18

The Gospel reading this Sunday explains to us ‘how’ to fast during Lent. This is the most powerful time of the year in which your spiritual life can be recharged. If we ignore it and we do nothing for the next 40 days and we reach Holy Week, how can we expect to reap the fruits of our labours in Holy Week if we’ve ignored God the whole 40 days?

Holy Week is a journey, a climax of everything that we do in the next 40 days. When we ponder on the question “Why do we fast? Why is it that the church does something that makes our life difficult? Why is it that when I have a nice steak in front of me during this period, I have to say no? Do we like to see people suffering?” We have to make reference back to what Jesus did. Jesus lived His whole life on earth as one movement, from the moment of His birth to one movement on the cross. That cross was pure suffering and also the greatest moment in the history of humanity. Jesus Himself is not a man. He did not appear in history in the year dot. He was before all ages and was equal to God in essence, so the man that we saw on earth is Himself God. But as a free choice He chose to empty himself, to deny Himself, His power, His glory and His throne, for the sake of creatures who were ungrateful. For the sake of creatures who needed salvation. That is really the starting point of the change in all of history and why we mark BC or AD as the beginning of human history as we know it.

So, we wonder, if this is God’s personality and if God is living within us, is this the personality that we must have? A self-sacrificing personality? One that doesn’t satisfy its own desires time and time again?

Man is a composite being, we are body and spirit. In saying “No, I won’t eat this burger. I’ll go hungry for a period of time” we say “no” to the body in the small things and are able to say “yes” to the Spirit. Some people think that it’s okay to fast and just say “no” to the body. This has one of two outcomes. Firstly, we will achieve nothing from the fast. I may lose some weight; however, I may achieve nothing spiritually. Secondly, I will fall into spiritual pride. Similar to the Pharisees when they fasted, they told everyone about it, they walk around saying “look at me, this is what I’m doing for God.” Christ would say to that person your reward was from the praise of men. The most important type of fasting is to fast saying “no” to the body in addition to saying “yes” to the Spirit.

How do we fast? Practically in the Orthodox Church and in every Christian Church up until the 16th century there were certain foods we avoid. We are basically vegan. That means no dairy, no meat and in this particular fast, no seafood. More importantly, Lent should be combined with a period of abstinence according to everyone’s ability, where we don’t eat for a certain period of the day. We then break it with simple food because we’re reminded that the more we fill our stomach, the more we’ve satisfied our body and the weaker our Spirit becomes.

In the book of Isaiah, we see the perfect example of fasting. God is talking to the people of Israel and says.

“‘Why have we fasted,’ they say, ‘and You have not seen? Why have we afflicted our souls, and You take no notice?’ In fact, in the day of your fast you find pleasure, And exploit all your laborers. Is this not the fast that I have chosen: To loose the bonds of wickedness, To undo the heavy burdens, To let the oppressed go free, And that you break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out; When you see the naked, that you cover him, And not hide yourself from your own flesh?” (Isaiah 58:3, 6-7)

This is the perfect fast. Fasting is not to make myself miserable. It is to deny myself and say yes to everyone around me. It’s to live for other people and look around with the eyes of Christ. When Christ saw a sinner woman or a tax collector, He didn’t condemn them. He loved them. All of us know someone who is suffering. They may not be starving, but they may be starving for companionship. They may be lonely. They may have nowhere to celebrate Easter. People are suffering but we close our eyes to it. All we have to do is open our eyes and look and we will see exactly who needs our love. Lent is the time to forget the concept in this world that we live for ourselves. We are not here to live for ourselves, we’re here to live for other people and to live for God.

The time of Lent is also the time of prayer. Without prayer, your fasting is useless. The only way to have healing like it says in Isaiah is by prayer and fasting. Think of lent this period as the start of a relationship between you and God. Our relationship with God is like that with our best friend. It is not for Him to be distant and every now and again when I need something to awkwardly come into His presence and speak to him. It is to build a relationship where we are best friends where we know each other. He knows my secrets. I know His secrets.

If you feel as if your prayers hit the ceiling and bounce back, there is a solution to this. Combine fasting with prayer, come before God not just physically hungry but spiritually hungry. Feel in yourself physical food has no sustenance for me. Any kind of spiritual goal you want to achieve in your life, it should be done without anyone knowing. Whilst God sees us in secret, He rewards us openly.

Let’s start tomorrow. Let us try not to make excuses. Don’t ask questions. Don’t make it easier for yourself. Don’t give yourself shortcuts. This is the one time of the year where we sacrifice for God. Only He knows what you’re sacrificing. The more you sacrifice the more you feel hungry and combining this with prayer, the sweeter it will be as an offering to God.

Are You Sure You’re On The Right Road?

“If you’re wrong about being right with God, then it really doesn’t matter what else you might be right about.”

By: Fr Anthony Messeh

Original post by Fr. Anthony Messeh blog site

About 15 years ago, a friend of mine and I set out on a road trip to visit another friend who lived about three hours away. The route to get there was fairly simple; it was one highway the entire way. Neither of us owned a GPS at the time, but we didn’t need one. We had something just as good… MAPQUEST!

The directions were clear and straightforward: take Route 50 for 140 miles, then once you hit a city called Westover, MD, the destination will be on your right after ½ mile.

Simple. Straightforward. A piece of cake. What could go wrong?

Well… to make a long story short…SOMETHING WENT WRONG!

Unbeknownst to us at the time, we somehow managed to exit off of Route 50 and onto Route 301 mistakenly. Route 301 goes NORTH and we need to be going EAST. So instead of being in Westover, Maryland, we found ourselves in Glasgow, Delaware!

(I say “we” but really it was HIM; my friend was the one driving, not me. I was actually asleep in the passenger seat at the time and had I been awake, surely we wouldn’t have gotten lost 🙂 )

We drove for almost an hour on Route 301 – the whole time clueless to the fact that we were on the wrong road. But the real problem wasn’t that we were on the wrong road; the real problem was that we were on the wrong road THINKING that we were on the right road.

Let me repeat: the real problem wasn’t that we were on the wrong road; the real problem was that we were on the wrong road THINKING that we were on the right road.

Because we thought we were on the right road, we didn’t stop and ask for directions… we didn’t check a map… we weren’t worried or concerned in the least. As far as we were concerned, everything was fine. The sun was shining… the birds were singing… we were cruising with the windows down in my 1999 Mitsubishi Galant.

Everything seemed fine.

But it wasn’t. We were on the wrong road. And every minute we were on that wrong road was taking us one step further away from our destination.

One of the earliest writings in Christianity is a book called the Didache, also known as “The Lord’s Teaching through the Twelve Apostles to the Nations.” It was written in the first century by the 12 guys who knew Jesus best and its purpose was to convey to the world His teachings.

Listen to what the first sentence in the book says:

“There are two ways, one of life and one of death; but a great difference between the two ways.” Didache 1:1

Simple and to the point. There are only two roads in life; if you’re not on one then you’re on the other. They may look similar in the beginning, but they are as different as can be. One road leads to life; the other to death.

SO MAKE SURE YOU’RE ON THE RIGHT ROAD!

“Ok, thanks for the public service announcement Fr. Anthony, but you don’t have to worry about me. I’m ok. I’m definitely on the right road. I mean, I’m a “good” person. I go to church almost every Sunday… I help old ladies across the street when I can… and I read YOUR BLOG faithfully every day! So surely I’m on the right road, aren’t I?”

Look… I’m not saying that you’re not on the right road, but I’m saying that you need to check. My friend and I spent an hour driving down the wrong road thinking that we were on the right road. And during that entire time, we didn’t have a clue we were lost. We thought everything was fine. But in reality, we were lost. We were so lost that we didn’t even know we were lost. And every passing second that went by just made us more and more lost…

…UNTIL WE REALISED IT! Once we realised it, everything was fine. We turned around and retraced our steps and got back onto Route 50. Getting back on the right road isn’t the problem; the problem is REALIZING that I’m not currently on it.

So which road are you on? Be honest. Are you walking on the path of life? Are you deepening your relationship with God daily? Are you growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ? Are you becoming more like Him?

Don’t just say “I’m not doing anything bad.” That isn’t the question. The question is “are you growing closer to God and closer to His image within you?”

Please don’t think that I’m judging you or trying to scare you; I’m not. I’m just asking questions. One of the things that I learned from that road trip is that it never hurts to stop and ask for directions every now and then – especially when you’re headed to a destination that you’ve never been to before.

Why? Because you don’t want any surprises at the end of the road.

“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’” Matthew 7:21-23

Original blog found at- http://www.franthony.com/blog/are-you-sure-youre-on-the-right-road

Receiving The Lord

Receiving The Lord

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Chad Hatfield

Luke 2:21-39

The Feast of the meeting of our Lord in the Temple is one that is often forgotten from our memory and experience, however, this year we are blessed that it falls on a Sunday. In Orthodox tradition, when we gather in the liturgy temporarily, we recreate the temporary setting of the temple – the place where the bloodless sacrifice is to be offered.

This Feast is the last of the Great Incarnation Feasts and ties together what the Church is presenting to us in the incarnation Feasts. The first of these Incarnation Feasts is the Feast of the Nativity. From the beginning of the Church year we understand that the Lord has come seeking you and I. It is at the heart of what it means to be a Christian. It is written in scripture that this is incomprehensible by Jews and Muslims and other religions that God would humble himself to take our humanity in every way. That ours is a God who humbles himself to come to seek out you and I.

This message of God seeking us, is one that God himself spoke from the beginning of time, in the opening words of Genesis. Even in the disobedience of Adam and Eve, God seeks these beings who are primary elements of the universe and have come from dirt. Like Adam and Eve, we also are made of primary elements of the universe, we are dirt, we are minerals. Science today tells us we are primarily made of water – we really aren’t much.

We must remember that we have come from dust and will return to dust. However, we reflect the Glory of God, because God has taken on those primary elements and formed you and me who bears His image and His likeness. He is the One who breathed the breath of life into us.

God told man in paradise that we could have anything we want, save one thing – avoid this tree. What Adam and Eve lacked was good judgement, so they had to the learn the consequences. The Father of the Lie said to Eve, “Go ahead. Eat of the tree. Then you will have no need for Him. No need for the Life Source.”

When Eve presents the forbidden to Adam, he simply partakes of it himself. The Glory of God, the light which clothed them in their nakedness, was dimmed. It is here where God calls to them “Where are you?”. He still calls out those exact words to you and I. It is in the foundational book of Genesis that we see that God promises that He will not leave us captured in that state of Sin and Death.

This Feast begins a trajectory in which we can see God at work, bringing forth our Salvation and the opportunity to be restored to Paradise as was intended at the beginning of Creation. Throughout the Old Testament, God continued to proclaim the coming of the Messiah, where the prophets were sent to bring back the lost. We can see, it is all about waiting for the Lord to act. We see the trajectory of this Feast moving through the Scriptures where finally, the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, fulfilling this path of Salvation.

Simeon, in his old age, sees the Messiah and is able to say, “Lord, let your servant depart in peace for my eyes have seen your salvation” (Luke 2:29-30). God has moved and shown us our salvation. The incarnational feasts become a recognition of the truth of God’s love for you and I, found in the image of the babe in the manger in Bethlehem. In Bethlehem there is a great and open field where Passover Lambs are kept to be offered at the Temple without blemish or spot. Our Lord Himself is that Sacrificial Lamb, born without blemish or spot.

This Feast is known by another name, “The Purification of St Mary the Virgin”. We are told in the Gospel today the law was kept in its fullness. Anna the prophetess witnesses it. Simeon recognises it and it is transfigured, no longer simply the rules, but it is the very path to salvation by God’s great act of love – the giving of Himself for Salvation. We hear these words of fulfilment in the Epiphany, where God proclaims: “this is My beloved Son in whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17).

This is the challenge for us today in a world that is so busy. There are so many voices, so much noise, we struggle to hear the voice of the Lord. We cannot even recognise Him in the crowd like Simeon did when he took Him in His arms. We struggle. But our good and faithful Lord calls us as He called Adam and Eve.

On this Feast we thank God for His goodness and the path to restoration to a life of Salvation. But we must not forget the vehicle that intercedes for us and brought us this Salvation, the Mother of Our Lord, the New Eve. Our First Mother, Eve, in her disobedience, brings us sin and death. Mary, in her obedience, brings us life.

The icons we see day to day show her presenting us Jesus, our Salvation. In the Russian Orthodox Church, a very popular icon associated with this Feast is called ’She Who is the Softener of Evil Hearts.’ She is not holding Jesus in this icon, rather, she holds a sword, lifted from the scripture in Luke 2, where we are told that “this child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce [St Mary’s] own soul too.” (Luke 2:34-35).

So in the commemoration of this Feast, we should rejoice in God’s goodness and thank God for the obedience of our Pure Mother Mary, that she will soften our evil hearts so that we may be prepared, like the aged Simeon, to receive the Lord into our lives.

Filling the Gaps

Filling the Gaps

by Bethany Kaldas

‘When You said, “Seek My face,”

My heart said to You, “Your face, Lord, I will seek.”’

Psalm 27:8

I know a lot of regular people who think they are terrible human beings—I’m sure you do too. You might even be one of them. It’s easy to understand why. After all, we get front row seats to our own misdeeds, every cutting remark, every envious thought or impure desire. If we look at humanity in general, we see selfishness and greed sown into almost every action, every word, and when we dare to look within, we can see the monstrous weeds those seeds grow into.

Lately, I find myself asking: Why do people do evil in the first place? If I’m being perfectly candid with you, it was my own sin that inspired such a question. I constantly find myself in the dilemma Paul captured so perfectly, of doing what he willed not to do and not doing what he willed to do, but in my own life. I follow impulses I know will end badly, boarding trains of thought destined for ruin. And I find myself asking—why? Why do I do these things?

I know, I know—we’re selfish. I’ve asked this question before and that’s the answer I most commonly receive. Humans are innately selfish, we’ve evolved to put ourselves first. But even if that’s true, I still don’t think that can fully explain sin. After all, some—perhaps most or even, all—sins are really sins against ourselves more than anyone else. Especially in modern times, we’re constantly doing things we know are bad for us. We are not only enemies to each other, but our own worst enemies too. And a lot of the time, we know that very well.

So…why? And Where does it come from?

‘Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.’

James 4:1-3

We have a desire that is not sated, a longing not fulfilled. This verse from James implies it is a desire for pleasure—and I do not deny that at all—but if pleasure really is the missing piece, then why are we not fulfilled by sin? Why does the glutton not stop once he has cleaned out his fridge? Why don’t the proud content themselves with the admiration of their loved one, instead of continuing to demand it of strangers? If pleasure was what we needed, then sin should be self-defeating—once we have sinned, we should sin less. So why does reality tell us the opposite?

‘You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.’

St Augustine of Hippo

I want to say that every human who ever lived has been seeking God their whole lives—every single one. Just wait—hear me out.

We were made in the image of God—in the image of Love Himself. Naturally, all those made in His image seek love. Surely that is easy enough to accept—there’s not a person out there who doesn’t need to be loved, it’s just part of what we are.

But we are fallen—we are broken. We are full of cracks and holes and we want nothing more than to fill them—but our image is distorted, deformed. We are filled with a desperate need…but we do not remember what it is for.

And so, we search.

‘And out of that hopeless attempt has come nearly all that we call human history—money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery—the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.’

C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)

We seek to be filled, so we overeat, or eat the wrong things, or abuse the planet and each other in the hopes of finding something that will satiate our empty hearts.

We seek to be strong, so we demean others, or force ourselves over them, or spit on them, we hate them, we murder them with words and works.

We seek to be happy, so we act rashly for short-term gain and long-term loss, we follow our instincts and impulses, blind guides that promise a thrill but leave us empty and more broken than we began.

We seek to be loved and to love, and so we lust, we lie, we flirt and demand attention—wherever we can find it, even if we know it will end in heartbreak and even deeper loneliness.

We seek to be valuable, so we puff up, we focus on ourselves, we neglect our kin, we envy others, we sabotage them, we sabotage ourselves and then expect pity and wallow in the dread that nobody cares.

I say these of myself first and foremost, but I believe most, if not all, of us can sympathise.

If you take any sin, and you look at it hard—you dig deep down to the roots, I think you’ll find that sin is not, in fact, a desire for evil. It is hamartia—it is ‘missing the mark.’ It is a misplaced, misremembered, deformed desire for the only One Who can fulfil that desperate yearning…it is a desire for all God is, but without God Himself. It is a failure to remember that He is what we need—that He is our Beloved, that He is our satisfaction, our strength, our joy, our love and value. He is everything—He is oureverything. But we forget, we seek Him without Him—we seek after gifts, forgetting the Giver, forgetting that it was Him, and nothing else, that we actually need.

‘Man is a hungry being. But he is hungry for God. Behind all the hunger of our life is God. All desire is finally a desire for Him.’

Alexander Schmemann (For the Life of the World)

Consider even the very first sin of man. Was the great crime of Eden disobedience? Was it gluttony? Lust for power? Was it the desire to be like God?

No, it could not be—we are calledto be like God—it is the goal of a Christian life. That wasn’t the problem. The desire to be like God is only an issue when you want to do it apart from God Himself.

Alexander Schmemann goes on to describe the forbidden fruit as such in his book, For the Life of the World:

‘Not given, not blessed by God, it was food whose eating was condemned to be communion with itself alone, and not with God.’

Alexander Schmemann (For the Life of the World)

The nature of sin has not changed. The brokenness of humanity is not only the holes we now bear, but our desperation to fill them with all the wrong things. Our hearts are all fractured—if someone says otherwise, they are in the worst denial. Sin is like trying to fix a broken mirror by shoving a wooden plank into the cracks—it only makes the holes bigger, it only distorts the image further.

We all desire to be whole, but it is not possible to be whole without Him—because He is the piece of us that is missing. Perhaps, if we recognise this, we will be one step closer to actually searching for Him. And when we do, we find Him waiting, with open arms, full of all those things we need to be whole again…because it was always Him.

‘O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup;

You maintain my lot. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;

Yes, I have a good inheritance.’

Psalm 16:5-6

From Theology, with love: Eponymous

From Theology, with love: Eponymous

by Tom Seodyu

My thanks to A,

with ornery irony,

you above others are responsible

for my most mature spiritual ideas

and incendiary hopes for this life.

You’ve asked me why I even bother with this (and you).

And again, I have repeated the only real answer I can give –

it’s because you have a beautiful soul, and are a misunderstood sort.

I understand why you hate this answer. Even more so because you don’t believe I am being sincere:

‘I’m just another person he has decided to be nice to today.’

‘He’s only listening to me because he’s naïve for the church and rituals.’

That you’ve mistaken me for a liar makes it hard for me not to feel hurt. But I know why you would think that way – that I’m some “Sunday school agent” here to pretend that he cares long enough to return you to “the quack priests who cannot give [you] a straight answer”, who are totally worthless and despicable to you. You’ve even asked before, “if you really understand how incompetent our church is, why don’t you speak up about it?” Because I learned long ago that this earthly body of Christ does not need any more ‘fixing’ by way of noise, and recommendations, and complaints (especially Facebook rants). Rather, it needs Christ; examples of His love, and a serious personal start – and perhaps, if I myself cannot succeed in setting this example, and inspire change through that love, then I am another mouthy critic. Though I am too ironic, and sarcastic to be that example…

I know that you are a sweet person (since you care so much about those who are nice to you and the suffering of innocents,) which begs the first question you asked. What is all this for? Because of all the commandments you had to stomach being raised here; of all the beliefs that we possess, the one that you feel most betrayed by; is the commandment to love our neighbour.

“If it’s real then why is it, when we try to love our neighbour, we act more out of pressure than genuine love?”

Perhaps it’s our poor understanding of Gospels and the story of the Good Samaritan:

A man left beaten and half-dead, ignored by the priest and the Levite but rescued by the Samaritan; bandaged with oil and wine, and taken into an inn in care and mercy. We were told growing up that the Samaritan was the enemy, but because he loved his ‘neighbour’ he overcame this and we are called to become like him and treat everyone like our neighbours with our love. But even atheists can ‘become the Good Samaritan’, loving their neighbor; like we were taught.

But no church father has ever understood the parable like this…

For them, we do not play the role of the Samaritan, but rather the dying man on the road.

Chrysostom wrote:

“Here then was man (that is Adam) lying destitute of the aid of salvation, pierced with the wounds of his sins, whom neither Aaron the high priest passing by could advantage by his sacrifice […] Nor again could his brother Moses [the Levite] assist him by the Law […] Naked and afraid we lie. Until the Good Samaritan – who is Christ – rescues us. He poured in wine, that is, the blood of his passion, and oil, that is, the anointing of the chrism, that pardon might be granted by His blood, sanctification be conferred by the chrism. The wounded parts are bound up by the heavenly physician, and containing a salve within themselves, are by the working of the remedy restored to their former soundness […]”

Since it was Him who first showed us great love through His Incarnation, all humanity is called to love to the end, without exception.

Augustine wrote:

“He shows mercy to us because of His goodness, while we show mercy to one another because of God’s goodness. He has compassion on us so that we may enjoy Him completely, while we have compassion on another that we may completely enjoy Him.”

If we tried to love everyone from our own power, without remembering – and deferring first and foremost to the lover of mankind – how could we not become practitioners of guilt and slide inevitably into hypocrisy and sin in exhaustion? Likewise, if the atheist has no one who loves them and can return to to be refreshed, how can they prevent despair and not abandon their righteous instincts?

Ambrose said:

“Since no one is closer than He who tended to our wounds, let us love Him as our Lord, and let us love Him as our neighbour. Nothing is so close as the head to the members.”

You may despair about your upbringing and your surroundings, but always remember Him, for He is blameless in His love for you. You may not accept this parable, or even believe that this love is a real contending force on this miserable earth. But I see evidence of a girl, who (though, all her life is one long disaster) races eagerly to feel embraced. Her head leaning into the other, cradling into the warm tenderness available for her. Held in the envelopment, she experiences in those moments the idea that she has found a home that reciprocates her – and she thinks, for a single moment, for one absurd second, that it may really be possible that God had sowed this friend into her life.

This leads me to your second question…

Even if, in the end, you still cannot find meaning, or purpose, or drive in your life remember that you and I who are so young have very limited right to nostalgia. You need only to learn what Life is.

Smile sweetly to strangers on your walks.

Learn humility from nature.

Listen to music that makes you want to sing and look ridiculous!

Laugh and be full of good humor.

And young woman,

do not forget to pray.

And with that,

I want you to know that I meant it when I said I loved you.

Christ be with you always.