{"id":7380,"date":"2022-03-20T09:32:52","date_gmt":"2022-03-19T23:32:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/?p=7380"},"modified":"2022-03-20T09:32:54","modified_gmt":"2022-03-19T23:32:54","slug":"the-myth-of-independence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/the-myth-of-independence\/","title":{"rendered":"The Myth of Independence"},"content":{"rendered":"
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The Myth of Independence<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Bethany Kaldas<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018Bear one another\u2019s burdens, and so fulfil\u00a0the law of Christ.\u2019<\/p>Galatians 6:2<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a common goal of modern society to be strong and independent. There\u2019s a certain shame attached to having to rely on others. Lots of young people don\u2019t like to admit that they rely on their parents for money, and lots of old people don\u2019t like to admit that they need their children\u2019s help to get groceries. So much value is placed on being able to live our lives without anyone\u2019s assistance. We love being able to do things on our own. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can see this in young adolescents, when they start to be embarrassed of being seen with their mum or dad as they get dropped off to school. It\u2019s suddenly \u2018uncool\u2019 to need a parent to guide you in the right direction\u2014and they carry this through into later their teenage years, and often beyond. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But in younger children, notice, you don\u2019t see quite as much of this. Little kids are very open about needing help\u2014they often demand it quite loudly. Before a certain age, we knew something about ourselves that we don\u2019t know quite as well now\u2014we knew that we could do nothing alone, and honestly, I don\u2019t think we wanted to anyway. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it\u2019s different when you become a grown-up, right? We were only ok with dependence when we had to be\u2014it was a necessary evil, but a temporary one. Surely, the normal state of an adult is to be able to function without the aid of others. Needing assistance is a sign of dysfunction or failure\u2014you see it in the handicapped, both mentally and physically, the extremely old or ill, those who have ended up in poverty, apparently due to some personal deficiency on their part. Not strong enough, not smart enough, not socially adept enough, simply not good enough\u2014if they couldn\u2019t get there on their own, they didn\u2019t deserve to be there. If they need help to get on their feet, maybe the ground is where they belong. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Our Western society is showing its technological muscles in ever more threatening ways, but the experience of fear, anxiety and even despair has increased in equal proportion. Indeed, the paradox is that the powerful giants feel as powerless as a new-born babe.\u2019<\/p>Henri Nouwen<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

We may think that we can reach a point past needing to depend on others. But I ask you\u2014do you live in a building? If you do\u2014did you build that structure yourself, without aid, or did you rely on someone else to build it for you? How about your fridge, or car, or even your health? If you\u2019ve ever employed the services of a doctor, a mechanic, a cook\u2014pretty much anyone\u2014you\u2019ve been subject to reliance on someone else to keep you afloat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you think you\u2019ve preserved your independence by claiming you\u2019ve paid for all these things with your own money\u2014well, how did you get the money? No, how did you come to be in a position where you could earn money at all? Did you not have someone who paid for your education when you were young? Parents or siblings or friends who helped you to learn without being paid for it? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Consider even, your everyday interactions with those close to you. When your parents or partner or sibling listens to you talk about your day, you are leaning on them for support without giving anything in return to \u2018deserve\u2019 it. When you have a problem, do you not seek advice from those you trust? And if you don\u2019t\u2026isn\u2019t that a bit of a sad existence?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018To be a minister means above all to become powerless, or in more precise terms, to speak with our powerlessness to the condition of powerlessness which is so keenly felt but so seldom expressed by the people of our age.\u2019<\/p>Henri Nouwen<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Whether we like it or not, we rely on each other. Humanity would not have lasted this long if we had not learned to support each other in times of need\u2014and to accept support when we are weak. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.\u2019<\/p>Ecclesiastes 4:12<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

As much as we\u2019d like to say we can be strong on our own, we will always be stronger together. And even together, we still need further support. Our ability to see, eat, walk, think, feel, breathe\u2014the world around us, the substances we need to survive, the very ground we stand on\u2014these are not things we earned out of our own independent efforts. These were all gifts from the One who relies on none, but created all to rely on Him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018You may forget that you are at every moment totally dependent on God.\u2019<\/p>C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Even if you live in complete solitude, you are not completely independent. You will always need Him\u2014it\u2019s a fact of your existence. And to try to resist that, to even entertain the contrary\u2026that is a notion that resembles something quite diabolical. The devil\u2019s mistake was not demanding too much of God\u2014it was quite the opposite. It was believing he didn\u2019t need Him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think, however, that there is virtue in trying to not need the help of others. After all, to ask for help is to demand the resources of another for your own sake. Isn\u2019t that selfish? Isn\u2019t it better for you to suffer alone than to bring some else into your struggles?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps sometimes that may be true. There is a fine line between acknowledging your own need and simply being lazy (I will be the first to admit that I cross that line all the time). But there is genuine value in being able to admit that you need the help of someone else. Not only does it give the other person an opportunity to do the work with the Spirit\u2014the ultimate Helper\u2014but it also shows you, first-hand, what it\u2019s like to be on the receiving end of charity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018The great illusion of leadership is to think that man can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Wounded Healer: Ministry in Contemporary Society<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

If we very rarely find ourselves in a position of need, it is so easy to become condescending (in the worst way possible) towards the people we serve. We may start to feel as though we\u2019re doing them a favour\u2014not as though this is an intrinsic part of being a Christian, without which we ourselves would find ourselves hopeless and alone. It\u2019s those moments when we have no choice but to rely on the compassion of others that teach us what it means to be compassionate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018If I may dare the biological image, God is a “host” who deliberately creates His own parasites; causes us to be that we may exploit and “take advantage of” Him. Herein is love. This is the diagram of Love Himself, the inventor of all loves.\u2019<\/p>C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

After all, it is when we recall that our eternal destiny relies on the self-sacrificial love of Christ that we see what it really means to love one another. Smaller images of that are seen when we find ourselves dependent on those around us. These are the moments that teach us true humility and brings us one step closer to being able to fully abandon ourselves and submit our lives to God. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018For I, the Lord\u00a0your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, \u2018Fear not, I will help you.\u2019<\/p>Isaiah 41:13<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Myth of Independence By Bethany Kaldas \u2018Bear one another\u2019s burdens, and so fulfil\u00a0the law of Christ.\u2019 Galatians 6:2 It\u2019s a common goal of modern society to be strong and independent. There\u2019s a certain shame attached to having to rely on others. Lots of young people don\u2019t like to admit that they rely on their … Continue reading “The Myth of Independence”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":7381,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7380","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7380","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7380"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7380\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7382,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7380\/revisions\/7382"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7381"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7380"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7380"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7380"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}