{"id":7287,"date":"2021-09-29T09:58:35","date_gmt":"2021-09-28T23:58:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/?p=7287"},"modified":"2021-09-29T10:03:01","modified_gmt":"2021-09-29T00:03:01","slug":"today-i-begin-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/today-i-begin-again\/","title":{"rendered":"Today I Begin Again"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Today I Begin Again<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Shery Abdelmalak<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

To me, this phrase is repentance. It is a show of mistakes made but I\u2019ll try again today. It is to not be overcome by despair, but to try again, and to try harder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But these are not my words. These\nwere the words of St Anthony the Great. St Anthony did not use this phrase in\nthis same way I find comfort in despair. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Quite the contrary. St Anthony would spend his days in prayer and fighting demons in a way I could never imagine. Yet, he would start his day with the phrase, today I begin again.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

St Anthony accomplished leaps and bounds of spirituality beyond all comprehension, but his mentality was set on each new day. St Paul made this clear to the Colossians when he likened wisdom to the time well spent; \u201cWalk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time.\u201d<\/em> \u2013 Colossians 4:5.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I look back on my most\nspiritual days. Days spent in church. Days spent in communion with others. Days\nspent in service. If only I could be the servant of the Lord I once was. But\nthen there were days of failure, days of laziness, weeks of prayer in church\nalone but never bringing the essence of prayer back home with me. Does that\nmake me a hypocrite? If I could not replicate the same prayer at home that I do\nin church, am I like the Pharisee that prayed at the top of his lungs in one\nbreath, and in the next looked down upon the tax collector beside him?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These are the thoughts that compound when I come to pray. When I feel like I can\u2019t pray because it\u2019s not the same as before. In essence, these are the roots of my own self-righteousness. These are thoughts that I am better than the prayer that I have to offer today. I think I can\u2019t pray because I\u2019ve prayed \u201cbetter,\u201d in the past. I think my prayers aren\u2019t worth it because I need the church to get me started. When in fact, this is the best place to start – when I come to my Lord with broken prayers. The prayers of the past, I leave in the past. Each day, I start anew. I fight like I\u2019ve never fought before to get to know my Beloved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask myself, \u201cWhy? Why is it so hard to pray?\u201d It used to be so simple when I was younger. For the young, it is simple, because they are simple. When I was a child, I was told to pray and so, I prayed. Maybe it becomes harder to pray with age because Jesus said, \u201cUnless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven<\/em>\u201d (Matthew 18:3). When I start each day irrespective of what was accomplished the day before, I remain a child in faith. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each\nday I wake up and remember that His mercies are made new every morning (Lam\n3:22). I don\u2019t remember the good of my past, and I live that day for my Lord to\nthe best of ability. I am not living for me, but for Him. If my eyes are ever\nupon Christ, then the past is not relevant. Today, I begin again. I search for\nthe love of God again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We see two distinct methods of interactions in the life of Christ. The Christ that would shower love, blessings, healing and compassion on the sinners, the adulterers, the murderers, the demon-possessed, the lepers, the tax-collectors. But then we also see a sterner Christ that spoke with the Pharisees and the leaders of the temple. Was it not the Pharisees that knew Christ and anticipated His coming? The difference between the two, was that the sinner knew to cry for mercy, while the Pharisees were not in need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I begin each day anew,\noverlooking the good of the past, then I can quite easily cry out for mercy. I\ncan easily remember where I stand and where Christ stands. Because it was never\nabout my own personal progress, but the height of grace that was bestowed upon\nme. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, I can misinterpret the words of St Paul when he said, \u201cWhen I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things <\/em>(1 Cor. 13:11). This idea of maturing was one he used quite frequently when preaching, to suggest a growth in spirituality. One that I misinterpreted to mean that prayers are enhanced with age; with spiritual maturity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Again, he says, \u201cFor everyone who partakes only of milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, for he is a babe. But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.\u201d<\/em> (Hebrews 5:12-14)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The \u201cchild\u201d that St Paul alludes to is the \u201cchild\u201d he was before he came to know Christ. Before St Paul knew Christ, he knew the Jewish law inside out. He had more knowledge than maybe even the disciples. For a Jew, I am sure many aspired to be just like him. The \u201cchildish things\u201d that St Paul put away, were those pertaining to himself. The thought of his own knowledge, his abilities, his strengths. He left all that behind and emptied himself to be filled with the love of the Father, negating all knowledge of the law, and putting on Love, that has no limits. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To be, \u201cspiritually mature,\u201d is to devoid that title altogether. To begin each day with the knowledge of God\u2019s mercy, and not my own strengths. Today, I begin again, as a child, earnestly desiring the love of my Father, like I’ve never tasted love before. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today I Begin Again By Shery Abdelmalak To me, this phrase is repentance. It is a show of mistakes made but I\u2019ll try again today. It is to not be overcome by despair, but to try again, and to try harder. But these are not my words. These were the words of St Anthony the … Continue reading “Today I Begin Again”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":7288,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7287","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7287","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7287"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7287\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7290,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7287\/revisions\/7290"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7288"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7287"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7287"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7287"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}