{"id":6367,"date":"2020-05-09T19:15:30","date_gmt":"2020-05-09T09:15:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/?p=6367"},"modified":"2020-06-05T20:04:14","modified_gmt":"2020-06-05T10:04:14","slug":"i-want-to-find-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/i-want-to-find-you\/","title":{"rendered":"I Want To Find You"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I Want To Find You<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Michael<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Original post by Becoming Fully Alive blog site<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cI love you,\u201d<\/em> You whisper to me. \u201cYou\u2019re mine<\/em>.” \u201cI have a huge plan for you.\u201d<\/em> You keep assuring me.\u201cYou\u2019re special. You\u2019re chosen. You\u2019re sanctified.\u201d<\/em> I look to You, look straight into Your eyes and see You for a split second and I feel overwhelming peace. Then You disappear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I feel empty and broken. I run out of my house and into the streets looking for You but You\u2019re nowhere to be found. You\u2019re gone. Darkness. Brokenness. Hurt. Back to square one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m nervous, so overcome by fear. Every word I hear, every thought I think, every emotion I feel scares me. I think of my future and this \u2018huge plan\u2019 you\u2019ve promised me and all I feel is hurt. I utter a few words to You and fall asleep. Waking up is what I dread\u2026 those first couple of minutes lying in bed are what get me thinking. Thinking about my future, my purpose, my calling. I feel crippled, I literally can\u2019t move out of fear. Fear of moving forward. Fear of the future. I close my eyes and my lips are shut. Closed as if they\u2019ve been locked. But somehow my soul sings a song of hurt. My soul whispers to You \u201cI need You now. You promised. You promised. Don\u2019t let go now. Don\u2019t let me slip away like this. I need your peace.\u201d I pray. My heart bows down. \u201cI surrender.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPeace I leave with you, my peace I give to you,\u201d<\/em> I hear You whisper in the faintest voice.\u201cI do not give to you as the world gives. My peace is real. My peace is eternal. And I freely give it to you.\u201d<\/em> My heart remains bowed. Finally You\u2019ve come back. \u201cYou\u2019re here, You\u2019re here!\u201d I think to myself. I want to look to You, look straight into Your eyes\u2026 then I remember. What if You disappear again? What if I\u2019m left alone again? What if this means the cycle will restart? I think and think and think\u2026 I begin to cry, even in Your presence my enemy has managed to find its way into my heart. Fear. Again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Suddenly I feel Your hand on my face and You make me look to You. I keep my eyes shut. \u201cNo more hurt. No more pain. No more.\u201d I think to myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then You wipe my tears with Your hand and say with a bold voice, \u201cDo not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid. I give you peace. I give you courage. I give you faith. \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I open my eyes for the first time since You\u2019ve entered the room and Your eyes look so deeply into mine. I see Fire. I see Glory. I see Love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I look to the palms that are holding mine and see the marks, of the depth of the love You have for me. You whisper to me \u201ca grain of wheat must fall to the ground and die before it can grow and produce much more wheat. If it never dies, it will never be more than a single seed.\u201d<\/em> I cry. You continue and say, \u201cyou are Mine and I am yours. You didn\u2019t choose me, I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit \u2013 fruit that will last. I have a purpose for you. I will use you, but first you must die.\u201d<\/em> \u201cDo it now! Please, please\u2026 take me now, take my life so I can be with You always\u2026 I need You. I really need You. I love You.\u201d I cry, begging You to take me where You are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then You smile and pray to the Father saying \u201cI am not asking you to take him out of the world. But I am asking that you keep him safe from the Evil One. He doesn\u2019t belong to the world, just as I don\u2019t belong to the world. Make him ready for your service through Your truth. Your teaching is truth. I have sent him into the world, just as You sent me into the world.\u201d<\/em> I understand. I know what You\u2019re telling me. I accept Your will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You place your finger on my chest and tell me \u201cthe Spirit of truth, He will guide you into all truth my son. He will bring glory to me by taking what is mine and making it known to you. Remember you are Mine and I am yours. You\u2019re already living eternity. The Father Himself loves you because you\u2019ve loved Me. You do not realise now what I\u2019m doing, but later you will understand. I love you.\u201d<\/em> I feel Your peace. I know Your truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then You, my Creator, get down on Your knees in my little room and begin to wash my feet and You whisper \u201cI love you beyond measure my son.\u201d<\/em> I get down on my knees and hug You. I love You Jesus. I really do. I stay in the stillness of Your arms for what seems like eternity, then You whisper \u201cFather, I want everyone you have given me to be with me, wherever I am. Then they will see the glory that You have given me, because You loved me before the world was created.\u201d<\/em> Then You stand up, walk up to my desk and pick up my Bible. You come back and present it to me open and my eyes are drawn to Isaiah 26:3. As I read it I hear you whisper \u201cyou will have perfect peace if you keep focused on Me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You place Your hands on my heart, look me dead in the eyes and proclaim with an Almighty voice \u201cin this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.\u201d<\/em> And with that promise, You leave my room, my house\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I no longer need to go into the streets to search for You. I am Yours and You are mine. I know where I can find You, any time of the day in any circumstance You\u2019re here. I know You have a purpose and a plan for me. I know You will use me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wanted to find You but You, You found me<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Original blog found at- https:\/\/becomingfullyalive.com\/i-want-to-find-you\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I Want To Find You By Michael Original post by Becoming Fully Alive blog site \u201cI love you,\u201d You whisper to me. \u201cYou\u2019re mine.” \u201cI have a huge plan for you.\u201d You keep assuring me.\u201cYou\u2019re special. You\u2019re chosen. You\u2019re sanctified.\u201d I look to You, look straight into Your eyes and see You for a split second and I feel overwhelming … Continue reading “I Want To Find You”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":6371,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[6],"class_list":["post-6367","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorised","tag-love"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6367","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6367"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6367\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6461,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6367\/revisions\/6461"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6371"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6367"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6367"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stmark.com.au\/Blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6367"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}