Upper Room Media Blogs

Sensitivity For Others

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Samuel Fanous

Passage: Luke 9:10-17

The words of the Gospel today from Luke 9 begin with a realisation about something that’s happened. The disciples had been travelling with Jesus and multitudes had been following to hear him speak. And then it says, “when the day began to wear away” – when the people were exhausted and the day had come to its close, the disciples said to Christ, “Send the multitude away, that they may go into the surrounding towns and country, and lodge and get provisions; for we are in a deserted place here.”

You hear those words – “send them away” – and they can sound arrogant. It almost sounds as if the disciples are annoyed – that they’ve had it with these people that they’ve been with for an entire day, even days perhaps, following them, serving them, caring for them. So in annoyance, they say: “send them away”.

But one of the most remarkable this is that this is not how the early church read these words. St Cyril of Alexandria in the fourth century spent almost an entire homily talking about these words, “send them away”. He said

“[the disciples] seized with love toward the multitudes, and beginning to have a concern for the people…”

They were beginning to have concern for them.

When they say, “send them away”, they aren’t doing it out of annoyance or frustration or arrogance – they’re doing it because they’re starting to feel people. They’re starting to become sensitive to the needs of people. So they ask the Lord to send them away to the surrounding towns before it gets dark so that they can go and eat and sleep – because this is a deserted place. It’s likely the multitude themselves hadn’t realised it – it had just started to get dark, and perhaps they were distracted, unaware of their needs that would come in just a few hours. So the disciples start to become very sensitive – St Cyril is very specific that they “seized with love… beginning to have a concern for the people”.

St Cyril goes on to say,

“for to draw near, and make supplication on the people’s behalf, is an act becoming to the saints”.

To be sensitive to people and their needs is the beginning and act of becoming to the saints. So from here, Christ commands the disciples: “You give them something to eat”. Christ could feed the multitude, but he wanted the disciples to share in that. They told Him that they had no more than five loaves and two fish, so He takes those, blesses them and gives them out to people in groups of 50, to feed perhaps 50,000 people – an event which we call the Blessing of Multiplication or the Blessing of the Little – a remarkable miracle which would’ve reminded people of the days of Moses when Manna would come from heaven and the people would eat from it.

All of this comes first in the beginning of sensitivity. Sensitivity to others, and not myself. It creates the space in which God can work, can heal and can love through us. But that sensitivity requires me first to move out of myself. It means I have to move out for my own lusts, desires, ambitions – I have to see others.

If we do not see others, we cannot be sensitive to them. We can’t feel them or their needs. If we see ourselves, we only care for ourselves. This is actually where the word “narcissism” comes from – it’s a word that we painfully throw around at others who are quite self-absorbed – but actually, the word “narcissism” comes from one of the Greek gods in mythology, Narcissus, a handsome young Greek man who was being chased by a woman, the nymph Echo, and rejected her.

He didn’t want to be loved or to love somebody else. She wasn’t beautiful enough for him. One day after hunting he came before a pool of water, and he sat down in front of the pool, as he went down to drink, he saw himself. He looked at that image, and couldn’t stop looking at it because it was so beautiful. Eventually, after hours of staring at his own image in the water, he realised he couldn’t consummate his love. He couldn’t embrace the person. And so after gazing, enraptured in his own image, he killed himself – because he couldn’t attain the object of his desire. And that’s where we get the word narcissism – somebody that was so self-absorbed, all they could see was themselves.

Yet Christ is the exact opposite. Something that always strikes me in the gospels is that if you pay attention to the words carefully you see how many times Christ sees people. How many times, the evangelists stop to make a point that He looks and sees somebody.

“And Jesus, walking by the Sea of Galilee, saw two brothers” (Matt. 4:18). He saw Nathaniel, and said, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” (John 1:48). With the paralytic man, it says, “When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well?”” (John 5:6). In Matthew, Jesus “saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd” (Matthew 9:36). When Christ sees the rich young man and is asked how he can be saved, it says, “Jesus, looking at him, loved him” (Mark 10:21). When Jesus looks up at Zacchaeus, it’s up in the sycamore tree, and he is hiding because he is so embarrassed as a tax collector to be seen by people. It says, “when Jesus came to the place, He looked up and saw him, and said to him, “Zacchaeus, make haste and come down, for today I must stay at your house.” (Luke 19:5).

These are just a few examples – the gospels are littered with them. Christ sees us. He is sensitive to our needs. He feels our needs. He looks beyond himself, He sees others, and so He is sensitive to our needs. Sensitivity to others is the beginning of saintliness. It is the beginning of drawing near to Christ and becoming like Him.

Many years ago, perhaps when I was in my first year of university, I didn’t attend university very much. I was a very poor student – I was probably attending about half an hour a week – so I had nothing to do and took up many hobbies that no 18-year-olds do.

One priest had asked me to help him – so I used to pray one liturgy every Thursday morning from 5-7 a.m., and afterwards I would drive around this elderly priest to help him give people communion, sometimes for four or five hours, sometimes until 2 p.m.

And every time after we’d finished the liturgy, I would watch this priest take the Eucharist and put on his head, and I’ve never seen anyone do what he does. He would refuse to drive – he let me drive – and he would sit in the car with the Eucharist on top of his head for five hours, going from place to place with incredible reverence. Often I would drive in silence for hours because I didn’t want to disturb him, until we’d visit the very last person receiving communion, after which, I would try to go to the drivers seat but he would refuse to give me the keys and let me drive, and say the exact same words: “before you drove because you were driving Christ. But now it is Yohanna, and I cannot allow you to drive Yohanna.” He would refuse to let me drive him, ever – but I could drive when Christ was on top of his head. This went on for a year, every Thursday, until one Thursday we came to the last communion. He told me to park the car and stay in the car, because the person he was visiting had a personal issue that he didn’t want anyone to know about except for his priest.

So as I went to park the car, I went straight into a brick wall and knocked off the bumper bar. So I sat there for a nervous half an hour trying to find the way to bring the bumper bar up, so the priest wouldn’t notice that I knocked off his bumper bar, until eventually, the priest came after the last communion as I was down on the ground trying to fix it, and in just one glance, he saw what the situation was and he looked away. I opened my mouth to begin to apologise – but he just laughed and said, “it’s nothing”. He went into his pocket and threw me the keys, and said “quick, let’s drive”.

For a year, he refused to ever let him drive him after communion, because I couldn’t drive Yohanna, I could only drive the Eucharist. But after I crashed his car with the bumper bar hanging off, he threw me the keys just so I wouldn’t be upset.

He was sensitive. Because he feared that I would become upset or feel guilt or shame because I crashed his car, he gave me the keys and let me drive him. In that moment, I possibly receive the greatest lesson of my life.

To become sensitive to others. To feel them. And that means, forgive me, we need to look very carefully at ourselves. Do I see others or do I see myself only?

How many times each day do I see others? Do I feel for others? Do I live for others? How many times a day, if at all?

And yet if I don’t go out of myself – beyond my desires, needs and ambitions, and I cannot see or feel others, I cannot be sensitive to their needs or feel for them. And if I don’t live for them, I don’t live for Him.

But if I see others, if I feel their needs much more deeply than they themselves feel their own needs, and I live for them, then I live for Christ. And that is why St Cyril of Alexandria says, being sensitive to others is an act of becoming of the saints. It was the entire beginning of the Blessing of the Multiplication story, with the disciples becoming sensitive to others.

So let us all, as one church, especially in the coming weeks, let us train ourselves to become sensitive to others. To see others and to feel their needs. To look beyond ourselves and our needs, but to see others.

Glory be to God Amen.

Put Off Self Will, Put On God’s Will

The New Man: Part 5

By Sandra Salib

Walking into an Orthodox church is an overwhelming experience – the incense, the candles and architecture never fail to grab your attention, transporting you to another place – a heavenly sanctuary, the House of God. Slightly elevated, ornamenting the walls of the church are icons, saints who are the exemplars of the spirituality we strive for, seemingly peering at the people entering. It is often said that these saints are amidst the church congregation, praising and praying with us, but they appear to reflect a spirituality which seems so above us, so distant and out-of-reach. We sit in church pews, longing for change, yet as soon as we walk out of the heavy, wooden doors, we are back in the world, as if returning to reality from a dream, unscathed.

It wouldn’t be contentious to say that our world today is a busy one. We’re occupied – working, studying, going out, getting fit – and while all these pursuits seem to be for our own growth and development, it puts us in a selfish oblivion, so distracted that we fail to consider anything that lies outside of our personal bubble.

The saints we see in icons are amidst us. To this day, 260 million Christians around the world are persecuted for their faith. They are martyrs of the present day. Needless to say, improving their lives isn’t in the question. Having a life at all is what consumes their minds.

Everything they’ve wanted – their desires, passions, hobbies – are all trivial. Their own will means nothing – they are subject to the will of another without question.

We are lucky enough, in the Western world, to have the liberty of choice. We have the freedom to believe what we want to believe and do what we want to do.

But to choose to submit your will to another?

In a world that upholds the autonomy of the individual, that can be hard. Very hard. It’s almost like social suicide. You are fortunate enough to get to choose what you want, lay out your whole life for yourself, and then you’re going to let someone dictate your life for you? It doesn’t make sense. And who are you going to listen to? A supernatural being in the sky who you’ve never seen? It’s a hard pass.

But is this who our God is? Is this how we, as his children, see him?

Our God is a loving, kind Father. Our God is all-knowing and all-powerful. Our God shepherds us and guides us to the path where we should go. He cares for us, and knows the details of our futures more than we could imagine.

This isn’t how we see His Son. Jesus, begotten of the Father, came down from heaven so that we may have a personal relationship with him. He lived a life of humility, and submitted His life to the Father as an example for us.

This isn’t how we see the Holy Spirit, who moves through our hearts like the wind, leading and guiding us as a soft breeze, whispering where we should go.

Of course, we know God is a mighty, powerful being. But the way in which he so freely loves, and gives, and has compassion, surely does not characterise a fire-and-brimstone, wrathful entity. It illustrates an image of a God who walked upon a fork in the road and, like us, had a choice. There wasn’t even much of a choice at all – He knew the journey would be difficult. He knew he would be spited and spat upon by generations upon generations of these creatures whom He loved and created. But this God, who we push to the side, this very God took the narrow path, and submitted His power and glory for us.

When we put on God’s will, we put on the armour of God: the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit.

But we must also feel protected by this armour and let our guard down, to let God’s Spirit move through us and guide us. So that we can be still, and listen. To put away our pride and to feel prepared, as the five wise virgins, as the faithful servant waiting for his masters’ arrival, as the wedding guests dressed appropriately for the great banquet. We need to take off our self will, to let go of the wheel and trust that God will lead us to the path where we should go.

To live as God intended us to will always be one of the greatest struggles for man. But our life is a path full of decisions. And when we come across a fork in the road, we should see Christ running, without hesitation, down a rocky, narrow path and never looking back. With His hands raised, calling out your name, running to bring you in His fatherly embrace. For He, a deity, submitted all for our weak, mortal selves so that we could have salvation. Is submitting to Him for our own selfish good not the least we could do in return?

Spiritual Friendship

Prayer

Lord, teach us to value those whom You placed in our lives to lift us up in times of need. Give us the zeal to encourage each other always throughout all temptation and tribulations this life has to offer. May we always have the name of those near and far on our lips in prayer, that we may represent true friendship.

Help us, Lord, to come together in Your name so that we may readily invite Your presence into our lives. Give us the humility to pray for one another in the spirit of unity, that You may always be the chain that holds us together in friendship.

Lord, we ask that You may come today to be our Friend. That our soul may be knit to Yours in the bond of perfection that is Love. That our desires and ambitions may imitate Yours in every direction our life leads us. And that You are the first Friend we run to whenever our hearts may be burdened. Amen

Spiritual Friendship

Challenge

Find someone at church on a Sunday or at a youth meeting who you notice is alone and go speak to them. Try and follow up with them at least once before the next meeting*

Spiritual Friendship

Focus Quote

“If God seems far away, find someone to pray with and for you. You will experience His Presence and that will become your reassurance. He never, ever, leaves His children orphaned.”

– Fr. Johannes Jacobse

Spiritual Friendship

New Testament Passage

Mark 6:7-13

⁷And He called the twelve to Himself, and began to send them out two by two, and gave them power over unclean spirits. ⁸He commanded them to take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bag, no bread, no copper in their money belts— ⁹but to wear sandals, and not to put on two tunics. ¹⁰Also He said to them, “In whatever place you enter a house, stay there till you depart from that place. ¹¹And whoever will not receive you nor hear you, when you depart from there, shake off the dust under your feet as a testimony against them. Assuredly, I say to you, it will be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city!” ¹²So they went out and preached that people should repent. ¹³And they cast out many demons, and anointed with oil many who were sick, and healed them.

Discussion Questions

Christ could have sent the disciples out one-by-one to reach more people, and yet, He chose to send them out two-by-two. What are three things Christ may be revealing about the power of friendship by doing such a thing?
Outside of service, how else is friendship given for us to be used? What are the benefits of a friendship outside of service?

Old Testament Passage

1 Samuel 18:1-4

Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the^]soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. ²Saul took him that day, and would not let him go home to his father’s house anymore. ³Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. ⁴And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, even to his sword and his bow and his belt.

Love Your Soul

By Monica

Original post by Becoming Fully Alive blog site

Have you ever felt like you were playing with fire? That its smoggy, ashy fumes are choking you but you still don’t draw yourself away, even when your hand is being burnt.

It’s a picture of captivity. Why don’t I guard my soul as vehemently as I guard my body? Perhaps it’s because I just don’t know how valuable my soul is.

When Scriptures speak of Jonathan’s love for David the prophet, it says, “the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” (1 Samuel 18:1)

So what does it really mean to love your own soul?

“Know O beautiful soul that you are the image of God, know that you are the glory of God, know then, O man, your greatness and be vigilant.” -St Ambrose of Milan

Sometimes we are blinded from this very greatness that St. Ambrose speaks of. We feel so human, in every broken kind of way. Our memory fades from the calling to which we received. We have unlearnt that we are made for greatness, by Greatness. Our minds haven’t quite descended into the depths of our hearts to know these truths.

“The more we get what we now call ‘ourselves’ out of the way and let Him take us over, the more truly ourselves we become.” -C.S Lewis

If only we knew of the way God looks at you and me. It’s in the same way He looked at a shepherd boy—David—and saw in him a king. Each of us is in the process of becoming. Becoming beauty out of the ashes. Living in the dirt of our own sin, but destined to be butterflies. Perhaps living the resurrection just means being yourself, in the fullest way. Dark but lovely. No matter how dark we are, “God’s gifts and His call are irrevocable” (Romans 11:29). Not even an inch of darkness can out shadow the shine of your lovely.

“Like Michelangelo who looked at a rough, shapeless stone one day and saw a statue of David in it, Jesus was constantly looking at people in terms of what they can become. We may be defeated, degraded, soiled, enslaved by our passions, yet through Christ we can be redeemed.” -Anthony Coniaris

It’s in this knowing that we learn to guard our souls zealously. We learn to build the walls of Jerusalem because we know that deep inside there is treasure. So, brush off the dirt and be ready to receive the promise of the Father.

“For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise.” Hebrews 10:36

The promise of the Father, the Holy Spirit, will bring to your remembrance all things. Remembrance of who you really are. We were made for worship, and every moment in our lives we are bowing down to something, so if in those moments we don’t see God, we are worshipping an idol. So, allow Him to bring us prostrate before the throne of grace – let Him point us back home, back to where we belong.

“He is the source of holiness an intellectual light for every rational power’s discovery of truth, supplying clarity, so to say through himself. He is inaccessible in nature but approachable in goodness. He fills all things with power but only those who are worthy participate in him. He is not participated in all at once but shares his energy in ‘proportion to faith”. He is simple in substance but manifold in powers. He is present as a whole to each and wholly present everywhere. He is proportioned out impassibly and participated in as a whole. He is like a sunbeam whose grace is present to one who enjoys him as if he was present to such a one alone.” -On the Holy Spirit, St Basil the Great.

Original blog found at- https://becomingfullyalive.com/love-your-soul/

A Life of Fulfilment

A Life of Fulfilment

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Mark Basily

Passage: Luke 9:10-17

We read about the enlightenment the disciples experienced when the Lord multiplied the five loaves and the two fish. This story is mentioned in all four gospels and is recounted on numerous dates in the church’s calendar.

Just before the blessing, we read an important encounter between Jesus and His disciples. Jesus sends the disciples out to preach, to heal the sick and to proclaim the Kingdom of God. He tells them not to take anything with them- just go and preach.

They do as the Lord says and they return excited from what they had seen and witnessed in the ministry. And the apostles, when they had returned, told Him all that they had done. Then He took them and went aside privately into a deserted place belonging to the city called Bethsaida (Luke 9:10).

And then we continue into the story of the five loaves and two fish. When the people of Bethsaida knew that Jesus had entered their city but was in a deserted place, they travelled to see Him. Jesus spent the whole day with them healing the sick and preaching about the Kingdom. The day wears away and the miracle follows.

What takes place here is like a sandwich. You have preaching and healing in the beginning, a day full of ministry and high activity. This is followed by the next layer, of more people flocking to Christ and more healing, preaching and ministry.

But in the middle, we find Jesus takes the disciples away privately to a deserted area. This is the meat in the sandwich of this story. Oftentimes, we can forget this vital part. Imagine eating a sandwich that was just bread. No one eats a bread sandwich, there must be something to give it flavour. Our lives become as dull as a bread sandwich if we go from activity to activity. Bread on bread. There’s no meat, no filling.

It is important that we learn to apply this to our spiritual life. After every activity, there needs to be a layer where I spend time with God. I tell Him about all that I have done and He takes me away to a private place. It is a very beneficial spiritual exercise to meet with Christ at the end of each day.

We learn to imitate the disciples that came to Christ at the end of their ministry and told Him all about what they had done. In our evening prayers after we have prayed our formal prayers (e.g. from the book of hours/Agpia) that we tell God about our day. It is good to give God a run-down of all that happened.

“This morning I woke up and everything was okay but then I got frustrated with one of the kids, I could’ve been gentler. I got to work and had that meeting, thank You for giving me the strength and wisdom to navigate through what was so daunting before I entered. By the time I got to lunch, I forgot that I was meant to be fasting, sorry, God.”

Or, “I went to school today and I got my results for a test, thank You for helping me. When I was in the playground with the boys and I guess, I was a bit rough.”

When you give God a run-down of your day, you will quickly see the areas where you give thanks for His providence and guidance, or repent and need change, and then, it is as if God takes you away to a deserted place away from this world and it troubles. From there, I can start with my next job, ministry, or activity. Between each layer of activity, we need to give it substance, we need to have quiet time with Christ.

A newly married woman once told me that her husband has a habit of waking up at 5am to spend time in prayer and reading the Bible. He then starts getting ready for work. When he comes home from work, the first thing he must do is to go his prayer room and spend time with God before anyone else.

After each activity, I make time for the Lord and tell Him about all I have done and He, in turn, takes me to a deserted place away from the world. This provides the context of blessing. This is where we draw near to the Lord.

The Lord is near to all who call upon Him – Psalm 145:18.

We draw near to the Lord when we tell Him about all that we have done and that provides blessing and enlightenment to our lives.

Friendship is…

Friendship is…

Reposted from Lilies and Thorns blog

”You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” “Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are.” “You become who you hang out with.” “If you want to see your future, look at your friends.” “When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends” “You are who you are, by virtue of the company you keep.” Any of these sound familiar? Friendships are a crucial part of life, and the influence of friends on you is undeniable.

Friendship is First Loving Yourself

We should all aim to have a friendship like David and Jonathan. “Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.” (1 Samuel 18:3) First, it’s important to note that they loved their own soul, and therefore were able to love each other with that same vigor. We should not be looking for someone else’s validation in a friendship. Before we chase love from others, we have to know our worth, and love ourselves first. We should not be looking to friends to fill the insecurities we have. Yes, they will encourage us and help us reach a better place, but getting rid of our insecurities is a journey between us and God.

If we fail to first love and invest in ourselves, we risk unknowingly placing a burden on our precious friends to fill that void for us, and this can be fatal to friendships. By knowing where we stand with God, we organically attract friends who are able to complement our beliefs, ambitions, and lifestyles.

Friendship is Built on Similar Values

Another common saying is “birds of a feather flock together.” This just means people who have the same interest and values tend to stick together. I can definitely attest to this in my life. I’ve had many friends throughout the years, but the one group of friends that I’ve kept for over 20 years are the ones I met in church. I’ve changed neighborhoods, schools, and even church parishes, but I’ve never changed my faith. Faith is an extremely strong tie that can withstand any time and place. So I hope you can find a God-loving group of friends that can help you stay on the right track. I’m not saying don’t have non-Christian friends; as long as they’re not a bad influence, have all the friends you want. You want friends to bring you closer to Christ (as you should also be doing for them), not further away from Him.

Friendship is Investing Both Ways

We’ve all had friends that make more withdrawals out of the friendship account than deposits. Some people require a lot of energy and attention, but don’t provide the same in return. Sometimes those friendships can leave us feeling drained. The seemingly Christian thing to do is to keep loving and giving, but I recognize we’re all human and might not always be able to handle the load. So maybe it might be time to cut back on the abundant giving, and don’t have such high expectations. I’m not saying cut them off, I’m just saying find a happy middle ground where you are both putting in the same effort into the friendship, that way there is no resentment or heavy feelings.

Friendship is Knowing What Load to Carry

“Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits.’” (1 Corinthians 15:33) I’m cringing as I write this part, but the truth can be hard to face sometimes. There are times when friendships do more harm than good. I like to lean towards giving the other person the benefit of the doubt, and believing they have good intentions. But sometimes those intentions fail to show in their actions. If you find yourself in a friendship that is affecting you negatively, then it might be time to move on. I say this with caution, and urge you to consult your father of confession to seek guidance in the situation. I do not want you to stay in an unhealthy friendship (or any relationship) because you feel obligated to carry someone else’s load, when you can barely carry your own, and in fact, it is weighing you down.

Friendship is Edifying

Edifying friendships are the most beautiful friendships, and I pray you can all find them and keep them. My longest friendship started about 20 years ago, when I moved to America. Throughout the years we have journeyed together through middle school, high school, college, singleness, marriage, and now motherhood. We’ve leaned on each other countless times, always drawing strength from the Lord to give to each other. Our friendship was a two-way street of giving and taking. We’ve shared wonderful memories and hard ones too.

We’ve had our ups and downs, just like any normal friendship. We’ve had times where we didn’t see eye to eye, or misunderstood each other. But the one common thing that kept us together was our common love for God and each other, because “A friend loves at all times.” (Proverbs 17:17) In every situation we tried to see the best in the other person. We constantly communicated, even when the conversations were hard to have. When we found ourselves in uncomfortable situations, we stopped and tried to mend it. Not saying our friendship is perfect, but perfectly imperfect. And that’s the beauty of it.

God gave us friends so we can lift each other up.

“Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

We can try to convince ourselves that we can go through life alone, but man, that can be super hard. Truth is, we need each other. The Bible says so, and even Christ sent out the apostles in groups of two.

If you are in a season in your life where you don’t have a strong friendship(s), then by all means ask God to send you a friend or two. Doesn’t He say, “Ask and it shall be given to you”? (Matthew 7:7)

I pray that you can all have fruitful and edifying friendships that bring you closer to Him, as well as be a great friend that someone can depend on. We should all be holding each other’s hands so we can help each other reach His.

“Ointment and perfume delight the heart, And the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.”
Proverbs 27:9

Because He first Loved Us

Because He first Loved Us

By Pola Fanous

We love, because He first loved us. And how could it be any other way? In John 5:19, Jesus makes it clear that: “… the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do.” It is only in imitation of Christ that we are able to love at all. Just as it is only by following Him to Golgotha, that we rise into Paradise with Him; only by sharing in His crucifixion, that we share in His resurrection. As spiritual beings, we know that love is the most natural thing on earth and in heaven. When we reject our divinity, we banish ourselves from the paradise of joy and are limited to primitive modes of being. We become mere self-centred animals to whom love is foolish and selfishness is wisdom. The charity at the heart of Agape love goes against the ethic of self-preservation in evolutionary theory. How fortunate we are, then, to have the wondrous example of Christ to protect us from selfishness:

“If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.”
John 13:14-15

As Christ loves and protects His Church – evermore – so too does a godly husband love his wife! Without our God and his eternal and enduring example, how could we begin to stand a chance? St John Chrysostom, drawing on Christ’s example, advises husbands on how to address their brides:

“I have taken you in my arms, and I love you, and I prefer you to my life itself. For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us… I place your love above all things, and nothing would be more bitter or painful to me than to be of a different mind than you.”
St John Chrysostom, 20th Homily on Ephesians

In reading these words, my heart not only rejoices, but I marvel at the enormity of our God who is love in all its forms, including Eros! In Song of Songs, we see Christ’s intimacy with the Church demonstrated in erotic poetry so beautiful it eclipses the thousands of love poems I’ve read: “

Your navel is like an elaborate bowl… Your two breasts are like two fawns, the twins of a gazelle… And the fragrance of your nose like apples… Set me as a seal upon your heart.
Song of Songs 7-8

We must not forget that not only is Christ our example, He is Love incarnate. We cannot love without knowing love, and so, we cannot love without knowing God;

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
1 John 4:7-8

Indeed, St Simeon the New Theologian writes of the Holy Spirit as the embodiment of God’s love – moving us, stirring us and inspiring us:

O Holy Love, he who knows you not has never tasted the sweetness of your mercies which only living experience can give us. But he who has known you, or who has been known by you, can never have even the smallest doubt. For you are the fulfilment of the law, you who fills, burns, inflames, embraces my heart with a measureless love. You are the teacher of the prophets, the offspring of the apostles, the strength of the martyrs, the inspiration of the fathers and masters, the perfecting of all the saints. Only you, O Love, prepare even me for the true service of God”
Saint Simeon the New Theologian, 11th c, Homily 53

Here, St Simeon speaks of Phila – the form of love most commonly called friendship. This too, must first be shared between man and God – for what greater friend have we than the King of Kings? In Exodus, God spoke to Moses like a man speaks to a friend; in James, God calls Abraham his friend. In John, God goes one step further, revealing that we who do his will are counted as his friends:

“You are my friends if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing, but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from my father, I have made known to you.”
John 15:14-15

It is clear then, that love as Agape, love as Eros and love as Phila – are all spiritual forms of love, all beautiful, all sanctified, all demonstrated and gifted to us by our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ. However, we must also remember one final form of love – love as divine and perfect grace! We are only alive today because of God’s perfect sacrifice on the cross, his saving love towards us.

In short, we love because He first loved us: on every level, in every form, in every way. Glory be to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords: our rescue, our hope, our example and always – Our Love.